April 7, 2011
Sometimes we go, go, go so much that we forget to stop and smell the roses. The air here in Calabria has changed since my arrival, sweet scents of floral sea breeze greet me at my doorstep first thing each morning. People are buzzing like the spring bees, anticipating our last goodbye. The sweet smell of wild herbs growing all around us are beginning to flower now. The season has changed, and now so must we.
It's hard to say goodbye to a place that is so freshly stamped in your soul. The life I lead as a getter on the go is one of fleeting moments of monumental bliss followed by a steamroller of emotions and revelations about what has just been done, where I have just been, and how it changed me. I literally don't believe that tomorrow will be my last night in Calabria. My mind cannot process that fact. It is too afraid of the steamroller.
I am finally allowed to think again about all of the things back home that I left and everything I miss. But the pendulum is swinging, every excitement of something I have been missing and will soon see again, is followed by a tiny shatter in my chest reminding me of what I am about to be missing of my Italian home. In the midnight hour, as I sit here listening to Michael Buble sing "Stardust" I feel as though I am trapped in a Woody Allen movie co-written by Anthony Bourdain. The trembling blue sea below my terrazza calls me on and on, telling me it will always be there waiting for me.
Leaving the kitchen last night with my confidant Amanda, after talking about life, love, and an insatiable want that we share, the Flaming Lips started singing through her cracked ipod, the most beautifully apropos song and one that holds especially dear meaning in my heart. "Let them know you realize that life goes fast, it's hard to make the good things last, you realize the sun doesn't go down it's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round..."
Perfect. It was just one of those rare, magically profound moments that you think back on and say, "Man, that was a good night." The importance of letting someone know you realize. What a valuable lesson, especially in this industry. I see it everyday in the kitchen, I've lived it for the past two years everyday. Sometimes it has gotten in my way, held me back, given me an unkind label, but simultaneously it caused every chef I've come across embrace me and teach me the things they saw I wanted to know.
I realize now moreso than ever what it takes to truly dedicate your whole being to something. I realize that passion is the catalyst for learning. I realize that respect for yourself, your teachers, and the FOOD is what makes someone great in this industry. And I realize how truly blessed I am to know this now. Gratzie per tutti, Chefs.
This one's for all the people who have helped me along the way, pushing me to be a better me.
Spingerti...
Amo cucinare,
Ryn
